i am sick and tired of this. rgco, when will you stop being such a dream breaker, and a wet blanket on top of that. yes, i am annoyed at you. YES, YOU.

why do you have to keep doing such things to me. wasn't what you did last time enough? and then you keep doing it, over and over again. and it's not like it was anyone's fault, which kind of only makes it worse, because then there is nothing to blame but the unfortunate circumstances? which wasn't anyone's fault to begin with, because no one made those circumstances happen. but anyway, back to topic. now i am very irritated with you, for perpetually spoiling all my plans and dreams and things that could have come true easily BUT OH NO, YOU HAD TO STEP IN AND RUIN IT ALL. and i have just about had enough, so now i am going to rant, and this rant is going to be public, because i'm not afraid to let people know just how irritated i am.

before i begin i shall just put a disclaimer, and get this clear. i am not blaming anyone in co for this at all, and i still love you all my juniors, even those who were in charge, or sort of in charge, or could have been in charge, like yunan, delia, michellin, leevoon, etc. i know it's not your fault. i still like all of you, especially as individual persons, and i have nothing against you or your personalities xD but i am just rather annoyed with co in general, like the circumstances it puts me in, and stuff like that. and well, if you don't like that, you're not going to like what's coming next, so i suggest you don't read on, and if you do anyway then it's too bad for you that you had to read what you didn't like and i accept no responsibility for any of the consequences.

anyway. so on to the main topic.

maybe i should say what happened.

well, so i have just realised TODAY [yes it is one day before arts fest busking, how wonderful] that the people who are supposed to be playing the song are OBVIOUSLY, TOTALLY NOT READY. [well, if they can't play without anyone clapping, how ready can they be =.=] and yes, i only found out TODAY. LIKE WTH TODAY?!?! and it is annoying, like after i arranged it all, and only to find out that the people can't play? if this is not annoying, i don't know what is. and that isn't all. they're going to cut out daji, which means huoyuanjia's front part is totally empty. and there is no nice zhongqin in faruxue. IT'S GOING TO SOUND HORRIBLE TOMORROW, I JUST KNOW IT. and yes, NOBODY TOLD ME ANYTHING UNTIL TODAY, AND EVEN THEN I HAD TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN, WHICH IS THE ULTIMATELY IRRITATING BIT. i am not trying to make myself out to be more important than i am. BUT WTH. i am after all the one who arranged it. i think i have the right to know.

RGCO I AM SICK OF THIS. THIS HASN'T BEEN THE FIRST TIME. I THOUGHT THAT SINCE THIS WAS MY LAST TIME YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE BEEN BETTER.

i realise maybe saying all this seems childish, because i can't do anything about it, and perhaps blaming rgco for everything doesn't help matters one bit? BUT I DON'T CARE NOW ANYWAY, BECAUSE I AM JUST SO FRUSTRATED I WANT TO RANT.

and anyway, that isn't all. there is still all the injustices rgco has done me in the past. AND IT IS STILL CONTINUING TO DO SO.

i cringe when i think of what's going to happen tomorrow. oh my, it will be dead embarrassing, i predict they will all get lost and for that one hour they are going to really chu1 chou3, judging from what i've heard today. and i feel damn cheated of all my efforts, and i can just picture the look on some people's faces when they hear of it, and i am just irritated and disappointed at the same time, but more angry than anything else.

WHEN WILL YOU STOP DOING THIS TO ME.

i predict some people are just going to laugh and be pleased when they see that, annoyingly enough. that was kind of the reason why i always wanted to have stuff going my way, so i could smirk at those highly annoying people, but rgco seemed to always be on their side, for some strange reason.

and it is unfair, to say the least, because it is not my fault. and i did everything just fine and the midi of the medley sounded okay, if i do say so myself, like it wasn't bad or anything [and if you don't believe me you can listen to it yourself and see] and it was once again UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WAS NO ONE'S FAULT [oh great, now i have moved on to blaming circumstances. argh whatever, i think i am so irritated i am in the mood to blame anything right now] SO YES, THAT WAS VERY INFURIATING.

RGCO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. YOU'VE REALLY MADE ME MAD. SO MAD THAT I AM EVEN GOING TO MAKE THIS POST PUBLIC AND I WON'T REGRET IT.

i am totally not going to ever look at co again anymore. seriously. this is just too annoying. even the last thing i did in rgco couldn't even be something i would like. it couldn't even be something my way, and it couldn't have been something that would make me proud to be part of rgco. somehow after last year, all my enthusiasm just fizzled out. i wonder why.

[well, actually i don't, because i know perfectly well why]

ANYWAY TO CONTINUE ON [oh my, this is turning into a long rant, but yes, i am that irritated. and that angry. and that furious. and even ranting cannot calm me down] i also wish someone could have told me so i could have done something about it! you know, the reason why i tried for this thing it because i kept getting my hopes shattered by NONE OTHER THAN RGCO. and because i am such a fighter, i refused to give in, and refused to let the horrid circumstances wear me down, and refused to admit defeat, and that's why i tried to get my song in another way. [AND WHEN I DO, I FIND OUT MUCH TOO LATE THAT THE PEOPLE CANNOT PLAY IT.] and i mean, it's not my fault, the medley sounds fine and all - it's just that they can't play! and there is no daji. and they didn't tell me. which is just so irritating. it's going to sound terrible tomorrow, and the worst thing is i know it but i can't do anything about it, AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT AT ALL, and it will probably either sound too simple [AGAIN], because people are going to get lost and stop playing, or sound discordant [okay maybe i would rather it sound simple, if it comes to that.] but anyway, that isn't the point, the point is that IT'S GOING TO SOUND TERRIBLE TOMORROW. like it did last time when they all went to show wls the song when i wasn't there, and then she said it was too simple. and that was because THEY COULDN'T PLAY, AND SO THEY STOPPED PLAYING, SO THERE WERE MISSING PARTS, AND THAT'S WHY IT'S TOO SIMPLE. SO NOW YOU ALL KNOW THE REAL STORY BEHIND THAT ISSUE.

this is getting to be too much.

YOU KNOW WHAT. I SHALL JUST CONCENTRATE MORE ON YO FROM NOW ON. INSTEAD OF TRYING FOR THINGS IN CO THAT ARE NEVER GOING TO COME TRUE ANYWAY. YO IS OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH NICER, AND SO MUCH BETTER, AND SO MUCH MORE FUN.

yay now i am very glad i have yo to cheer me up. (:

actually, i was thinking of that at the beginning of this year. or at least, halfway through the year. and i wanted to post that up before, but i didn't have the heart to say it, because i still felt somewhat attached to rgco. WELL RGCO YOU JUST BLEW IT. NOW I DON'T FEEL ATTACHED TO YOU ANYMORE.

well, i'm sorry. but you had your chance. in fact, you probably had a hundred over chances. and you messed every single one of them up.